woke up next to my wonderful wife after getting up she make me a great breakfast and for dinner tonight grilled steak and a brithday cake she made.
so why am i depressed?
could it be my children will not call me today to wish me a happy brithday.
TotallyADD,
Sorry Honey, I didn't realize you were feeling low today. You've been busy making our new house into a unique and beautiful home. I thought that made you happy. I know you feel lost as this is only the third birthday you've celebrated. Things will get better. I promise. Wink. Wink.
Your Loving Wife,
Reopened Mind
10-20 years ago you would get a mix of different types of wt study articles.
they generally fell into one of a number of categories: prophecy, bible characters, facets of the fruitages of the holy spirit, aspects of jehovah's personality, creation, the new system etc.. now it goes like this:.
obey the faithful slave, stay of the internet, do more, obey the faithful slave, stay of the internet, do more.....rinse and repeat.. it's no wonder the dubs have all become brain dead.
May I elaborate on Snowbird's comments?
BEHAVIOR CONTROL: Go to all the meetings. Spend rest of time in field service.
INFORMATION CONTROL: Read only WT literature. Don't listen to "worldly people".
THOUGHT CONTROL: You must have a Bible-trained WT conscience.
EMOTIONAL CONTROL: Fear the true God governing body. You MUST be happy because we worship the happy God.
Reopened Mind
some forums/boards have a greetings section for newbies, but i couldn't find one here, so i guess i should post here.. i was an active witness in the 70s and 80s but decided i couldn't conscientiously continue participating so i just dropped out.
unlke many others, i don't have witness family.
thus it was easy to just move & drop out.
Welcome aristeas and drummer4scr. Many new ones are signing up here it is hard to keep up. Very Telling!! I, too, appreciate Barb Anderson's insights. You can read more from her on freeminds.org.
Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz, a former member of the governing body, will give you a peek into the inner workings of the governing body.
I am eagerly awaiting to hear more from both of you.
Reopened Mind
all i can say is "wow!
" in the 10 years i've been out i had no idea that forums like this existed.
a tad naive-sounding for someone with a background in it, i know, but it's taken me this long just to feel comfortable enough to type 'jw' into google.
Welcome mummatron and WOW! Another born-in story of abuse by parents and WT. So so sad but glad to see you have gotten out at an early age, hopefully to give you time to completely heal as well as give your children a chance at a fulfilling life. You are so blessed to have a husband who loves and supports you even thoough he cannot possibly comprehend what you have been through. I am a convert myself but my husband, TotallyADD, is a born-in like yourself. Stories like yours help me and others to understand how deeply the web of mind control reaches into someone's very being.
Best of luck to you on your new journey.
Reopened Mind
the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.
only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.
i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.
lisaBObeesa,
I just had a chance to go back and read your thread you referenced. Very enlightening! I especially liked the explanation of why the WT isn't interested in retaining teenagers because their natural inclination is to question everything---just the opposite of the Watchtower's herd mentality. Therefore I bumped it because I think it is a worthwhile read. I hadn't read this before because it was posted long before I began lurking.
Reopened Mind
the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.
only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.
i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.
As promised here are TotallyADD's responses to the questions:
1. Were you allowed to make choices for yourself when you were a teenager? If so were your choices restricted to those approved by the WT? Yes and yes
2. As a child did you fit in with the in-group at the Kingdom Hall? No
3. Were you part of a school team, yearbook, multi-cultural club or other extracurricular activities? Yes, DCT in high school. It was likebusiness school so I could run a business when I got out of school.
4. Have you struggled with adjusting to the social norms and values of society after departing from the WT in your adult life? No
5. Have you struggled with making friends in your adult life? As an adult Witness I had trouble making friends, but since leaving I have notfound it difficult.
6. Have you attended counseling after departing from the WT? I had counseling vefore leaving the WT. It cleared my mind so I could seethrough the WT.
7. What effect has your Witness upbringing had on you, positive, negative, or a combination? Negative, without hesitation.
Reopened Mind
in another thread, there is a discussion about young people leaving the jws at a rate of something like 88%.
we see the rules given to the sheep for raising their children and we shake our heads saying, dont they get it?
what is wrong with the org that it cant see how they are treating the youth?
lisaBObeesa,
This is an excellent thread and deserves to be bumped. Thanks for putting a link to it in my thread.
Reopened Mind
the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.
only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.
i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.
lisaBObeesa;
You are right, choices approved by the WT are no choices at all. Everything was already decided for you within very restricted parameters. I know I raised my boys that way. Your parents at least did something for you by letting you be in band. I too find it difficult to make friends. Although not being raised in the cult I have spent my entire adult life in it until just recently. Feel free to PM me. I would welcome it.
Band on the Run;
" My father was a bodyguard to Rutherford and Knorr. My uncles also served at Bethel. Their stories were heart wrenching. They ended up unable to fully embrace the society but still eager to conform. It was all they knew." All I can say is, "How sad". Congratulations on making your way out of the ghetto of Watchtowerland. The strength of your authentic personality has taken you far. Please continue sharing with us your valuable insights.
RADHESYAM;
My husband's father was much like yours, it was his way (WT way) or the highway. TotallyADD was told one time that if he left the "truth" his dad would disown him. Sounds like you took some of the lemons the cult handed you and made lemonade.
itscrap&theyknowi!t;
You are so right. We have all suffered in MANY ways. So much potential has been totally crushed by the Watchtower. Allowing your children to live a life that they choose for themselves is the greatest gift that you can give them.
Thanks to all for your comments.
Reopened Mind
ali had an appointment with her dr. yesterday.
he won't let her return to her job, due to the long hours for her position.
(45 hours minimum) and the physical lifting that her employer would require.
coffee_black Ali is truly blessed to have you for a mother.
Reopened Mind
the essay "self-identity and growing up in the jehovah's witnesses" by marcela sherwin was an interesting commentary on how being brought up as one of jehovah's witnesses affects one as an adult after they leave the cult.
only a small sample of ten adult xjws participated in the survey.
i thought it would be interesting to read the answers all of you would give to the same questions.
Star tiger;
Thank you for your contribution. My husband and sons also suffer with low self esteem as a result of being raised a Witness. TotallyADD laments that he would have really liked to have played football in high school. He would have been good at it. To this day he follows the Tampa Bay Buccaneers even though we haven't lived in the Tampa area for 8 years. Congratulations on going back to school. Hope that works out well for you. I went to 2 years at a local junior college and earned a degree in biology before being baptised into the cult. This has been of no use to me. So please finish out a useful degree.
Coffee House Girl;
I hear you saying you only had one choice to regular pioneer as a teenager. One choice is really no choice at all. We talked to our boys about going to Bethel. In hindsight I'm so thankfull that neither one went, especially after reading some of the horror stories of those who experienced life at Bethel. It's interesting that you said you were not in the clique because your dad didn't go to meetings. My husband and boys have said the same thing because they were elder's kids. Other kids were afraid they would get tattled on. LOL I, too, was socially awkward as a child. I think that was a strong reason why I began studying with Witness girls in school. I've had various conditional friends in the congregation over the years. Like you my best friend is my husband TotallyADD. I especially like that we are leaving the WT together. Coffee House Girl you have an authentic good personality which has nothing with being raised in the cult. I enjoy your posts.
SirNose586;
You were allowed to be part of a chamber orchestra? Was that in the day when there was still live music at the conventions? My father-in-law was a professional musician before he became a Witness and played bass in the orchestra.
Reopened Mind
